The Ugly Truth – Why I Stopped Blogging/Getting Personal/ What I Was Going Through

Ever since I was a child I suffered from bad eczema. For those of you who are unaware of what eczema is, it a condition that causes the skin to become inflamed, itch, and causes skin to have rough patches, become cracked, and blistering ooze can also occur. 

Over the years my mom spent countless dollars and hours to send me to the best dermatologists money could buy to try and cure my eczema. After many tears shed, a round of shots, and steroid creams I was finally cured after ten years! (Well, we thought!)

As the years went on I  was able to live life normally again. No longer did I have to make up a silly excuse time after time to friends that I couldn’t attend a beach outing or hide my skin in the summer under big loose sweatshirts and sweatpants! Those days were gone, and I never wanted to look back. EVER.

I’ve always been the type of girl who saw things through rose colored glasses, however sometimes in life we are faced with different challenges and have to go through things that crush your spirit and break your heart. Unfortunately I went through just that this past year, and what followed me during the dark times? That’s right: several major cases of hives, along with the return of eczema. 

As if dealing with personal matters weren’t bad enough, talk about adding salt to the wound! After months of crying and feeling hopeless and heartbroken I decided that I can no longer allow myself to become depressed about anything in my life anymore and this was one of them. It was time to see a dermatologist and allergist and hope for the best. It turned out that my diet and stress/trauma was causing my hives and eczema to flare up. I was given a big list of foods that I should avoid, and that list consists of gluten, dairy, wheat, eggs, and citrus fruits. For those of you who know me in real life, you know that I absolutely love and eat each of those items on a daily basis and would never follow those rules lol! 

Even after coming back from the derm and getting my pills, shots, and steroid creams, I know that I will never be fully cured and the harsh reality was if I didn’t change my mind set and diet I am going to go downhill again. This is a battle that I will constantly have but now it is time to fight. And I think after everything that I have gone through over these past few months, it’s time I start learning to love and find myself all over again.

Although healing is a process that will take time, I’m happy to report that I am in a much better head space these days and can finally start to blog again. I still have my sad moments and memories, but I am hopeful for the sunshine at the end of the rainbow. 

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This picture was taken on my trip to beautiful Lake Arrow Head to celebrate my birthday Pre-Covid-19 Scare/Quarantine. Just thankful that I was able to celebrate. (Pisces baby!) 

I’m not perfect with my new eczema diet yet, and I still slip up and eat things I know I shouldn’t, but that’s OK. My life is a work in progress, and I’m just happy to be in the right mindset to be able to accept the things that aren’t perfect. We can’t control somethings that happen to us in life, but I can continue to work on my life and myself and that is all that I can do really. 

Xoxo

Toxic Relationships

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No relationship is perfect, whether it is personal or professional. It’s hard to see what’s really best for yourself when you’re invested in something that is supposed to be so meaningful regardless if it is your career, a friendship, or a romantic relationship. It’s not easy to remember who you are and what you really want sometimes. Sometimes you even start to lose sight of yourself and forget that your well-being and happiness should be a priority as well. Sometimes we put up with these toxic relationships because of fear or  not wanting to feel the pain of letting go. But with time and distance, soon we’re all able to see the relationship for what it really was: toxic

It isn’t realistic to expect to be happy every moment of everyday. Someone once told me that life wasn’t all pink and filled with butterflies. But for the most part, a good relationship should make you feel secure, respected, and happy. On the other hand, toxic relationships make you feel drained, distraught, and sometimes even defeated. Toxic relationships can cause you to slowly begin accepting what you used to consider unacceptable. Whether you are running a business or invested in a partner, the last thing anyone needs is any form of toxicity in their lives.  If someone or something is making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person or thing go. If you are constantly feeling your worst, you cannot be the best version of yourself. You wouldn’t hold onto a peach while it goes rotten just because at one point it was good.

Have you ever had a toxic relationship in your life? When did you realize it was toxic, and how were you able to move on? I’d love to hear your experiences, and I’m sure others could benefit as well!