Transformation Tuesday

Good morning everyone and happy Tuesday!

This morning I woke up, made a delicious coconut and dragon-fruit smoothie after doing some meditation, and thought to myself what better way to start the day than to write down my thoughts before I head to work.

I know I have talked about toxic relationships in the past, however today I will be discussing about the toxic relationships we have with ourselves and the ones that I have had with myself. I don’t know of anyone that has a 100% healthy relationship with themselves, especially around my age. I think it’s because we’ve been trained and conditioned for so long not to. It’s very easy to fall into negative behaviors especially in how we talk to ourselves and what we think about ourselves. 

I definitely had a toxic relationship with myself. I notice that it is getting a lot better: I have so much more compassion and love for myself this year than last year. What I have noticed about myself was that I tend to hold a lot of guilt when it comes to everything. I constantly felt bad and feel everything. I have a lot of empathy for everything. For a long time I was holding those feelings in, and I would punish myself for some things that weren’t even a big deal. For instance, I would worry if I offended someone or feel guilty if I cancelled plans with someone when I felt tired or just didn’t feel up for it anymore. In the grand scheme of life it doesn’t matter, but I would hold on to that guilt and punish myself internally by sitting around and sulking in my guilt. My entire day would be ruined because of it.

Because this was a toxic trait that I recognized in myself, I forced myself to practice self- love, compassion, and grounding to remind myself of who I am and what I want. What really helped me was meditation. I know I spoke about it a few times already, but I have been able to maintain my emotional state right now. I know that meditation has helped me with cultivating and maintaining those positive emotions. Some of you have also said that I seem happier nowadays, and I could cry just thinking about the ways that I have changed my relationship with myself for the better. I’m not going to sit here and say that I am not hard on myself anymore because I still am, but now I am just more aware of it. The goal now is to correct that type of thinking, whereas before I was just on autopilot: going through the motions and unaware of my own role in the cycle. 

I have read a few great self-help books to get me through the tougher times last year. I can list and talk about some of them in another post if anyone is interested. These self-help books made me aware of how I saw and treated myself. I was beginning to see how others see themselves. Sometimes when I go to events, whether personal or for work, I sometimes feel others’ emotional energies and they’d drain me. I felt the need to protect myself and my energy because I was starting to see that it wasn’t coming from me but from those around me. I was just absorbing all of the negative energy, and I hated it. I found myself not wanting be around anyone anymore because I was afraid of their emotional and negative energy and the way it would affect me. That might sound selfish and might be selfish, but I cannot be of service to anyone if I am in need of help. I have been protecting my happiness and working hard on myself, and I am not going to risk undoing all the progress I’ve made. People who love me and support me will understand and see where I am coming from. 

There are many who will take advantage of kindhearted and happier spirits. When you have a positive aura, people will naturally gravitate towards you, even people who don’t have that same aura or intentions. They just want to take it for themselves and drain you. Most of the time they aren’t even aware of it. I feel I am a naturally kindhearted person inside, and if I sense someone is troubled I just want to help them anyway I can, even if it will hurt me in the end. I know that what it’s like to be in their shoes because I’ve been in that emotional state. I know what it feels like so I want to help people, but some people don’t want your help. I had to recognize and learn that the hard way. That brings me back to the question of “How can you help anyone when you yourself are so emotionally sensitive and fragile?” That is what I am working on, and I have come a long way but the journey goes on. 

I wish you all love and light. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and concerns. If anyone has any good book suggestions, whether it’s a novel or self-help book, please feel free to send me a message or comment!

Let us all continue to be self-aware and love ourselves a little more each day so that we can continue to love one another. 

XO,

Tawny V.

Livin’ the Quarantined Life

Spring has sprung and we are now all forced to live in self-isolation. Not to worry, for someone who’s lifestyle consists of mostly being “quarantined” allow me to suggest some ideas!

MCQuarantine

Learn Something New:

Yes, sure you can binge watch all of your favorite shows on Netflix during your time in quarantine, and believe me I have had my share of Unusual Suspects marathons. But you can also use this time to learn something new. Nothing like being productive and doing something that can be beneficial towards life after the quarantine is up, right? What I did was try to learn how to cook! I am guilty of being lazy and always ordering food from restaurants via DoorDash, UberEats and Postmates! You name it, I have ordered it. I took this time to really improve myself. I found my new project, ordered my measuring cups via Amazon, and got to browsing simple recipes that I could try that catered to my budget and my taste buds. I will post some of the new simple recipes I have learned for those interested.

Rearrange/Organize Your Space:

If you are starting to feel anxious or depressed get lost in reorganizing your closet. Although my closet is pretty unorganized and hectic most days, this is the perfect chance I have to reorganize and rearrange my clothes. I even forgot about some of the clothes I had! I gathered up some clothes that I can no longer wear (damn holiday weight) and set them aside for friends I know would love them, some I can donate, and some to sell via the Poshmark app. I might even add a link of my Poshmark here if anyone wants to  shop great deals from my closet! 

Meditation:

I used to mediate often when I was younger, when I didn’t have to face any real life problems or heartaches. As I got older, I found it so hard to just close my eyes and breathe. Dealing with a lot of anxiety can really mess with your mind, so before bed, or whenever you can find 10 – 15 minutes in your day, try to close your eyes and just focus on your breathing. I like to hold my crystals and focus on my breathing while I listen to relaxing spa-like music when I am trying to meditate. Not only is mediation relaxing, it is also great for your mental health. If I am sad, anxious or need answers to things I try to meditate, and afterwards I find that I have am more calm, have more clarity, and my thoughts come together a little bit better. 

Although things seem scary and uncertain right now, don’t let it get in the way you enjoy and live your life right now when trying the tips above! How has the Coronavirus affected you? What have you been doing to stay occupied? I would love to hear new ideas and suggestions from you! 

 

May Beauty Haul

IMG_20170512_220554_902.jpg

Hello lovelies,

I just wanted to share some of my favorite beauty products from May.  For this month’s shopping haul, I picked up a bit of everything from makeup and skincare to hair products; I needed to restock for my beauty pantry!

The Hair:

Joico K-Pak Reconstruct Conditioner: I’ve tried this shampoo and conditioner once before, and it’s helped my hair on its journey to recovery. I tend to run out of conditioner first, which is why I didn’t pick up the shampoo as well. Joico’s K-Pak is supposed to repair damaged hair and is safe to use on color treated hair. I picked mine up at Ulta when they had a sale.

20170512_123318.jpg

OGX Quick Drying Thermal Spray: I also picked up this heat protecting spray from Ulta. I have never tried this brand before, so I am pretty excited. I do love the way this product smells!

20170512_225543.jpg

So hurry to Ulta now for their gorgeous hair event (I am not sponsored, haha!) Going on now until the the beginning  of June!

Makeup:

20170512_122825

IMG_20170512_123044_187

Urban Decay Naked Illuminated Trio: Highlight and strobe your cheekbones with these three beautiful shades: Pyrite, Oasis, and Twilight. I tend to love everything from Urban Decay, and I have been wanting it for awhile so I had to purchase this!

Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray Mini: I have the large size that I use quite often, but I wanted one to be able to put in my makeup bag and have with me on the go!

20170512_122746

Skincare:

Kiehl’s Cucumber Herbal Alcohol-Free Toner: I purchased the large size of the toner because I tend to go through them rather quickly, so this would save me time and money in the long run. I love all of the toners from Kiehl’s.

 

 

Image result for kiehl's toner large cucumber

Micellar Cleansing Water by Jean Pierre Travel Size: This was my first time purchasing this product. What caught my attention was the cute packaging! I purchased this at Ulta beauty, and I had brought this with me on my road trip. I gotta say, I love it! I will definitely be picking up the full-size soon! It was gentle on my skin and removed all of my makeup!

20170512_122752

The 1940’s Look

20170422_202809

Hello, world, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I spent my Saturday at my cousin’s Fabulous 40’s themed birthday party. When I got the invite I automatically knew what dress I always wanted to wear, but to me the 1940’s were not so glamorous since makeup was scarce and bright, bold red lips just isn’t me. Still I managed to pull through and had fun with it!

My 1940’s vintage dress:

IMG_20170422_153724_588

The Dress: My beautiful true, blue vintage 1940’s dress was given to me from an older friend. It belonged to someone in her family. Now here it is, I can finally wear it. At first I was hesitant to wear it because I was sure that most of the guests at the speakeasy were not going to be in the 1940’s theme. Or if they were, they weren’t going to be wearing a full on costume! It made me think of the scene from Mean Girls when it was time for the Halloween party and Lindsey Lohan shows up wearing a scary bridezilla costume and all the other girls were wearing sexy lingerie with some form of animal ears! Girl world Vs Real world. Well, I chose real world.

Image result for mean girls halloween

Image result for mean girls halloween

IMG-20170422-WA0007

The Hair: 1940’s were all about the victory rolls. Those Youtube girls really make them seem so easy! For me, they were anything but that; but I manged to somehow make a roll or two. They sure were anything but victory, haha! The girls back then didn’t seem to have long hair, but I curled all of my hair, brushed out the curls to create the waves, teased, and rolled it out the best I could!

Image result for 1940s victory rolls

Snapchat-1951353723

My victory rolls ended up looking like Maleficent as the night progressed (lol).

The Makeup:

Lips: For my red lips I used a matte lipstick from Smashbox cosmetics. It was the only red lip color I own that came in the Light It Up lipstick and mattifier set that given to me for my birthday. The shade is called “Be Legendary.”

20170422_151107

Eyes: For my eye shadow I used my Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. Although shimmer wasn’t the appropriate look at the times for eyes, I wanted to use something natural and smooth that popped (it is a party after all!), and the naked palette did just that. The shades I used were “Dust” and “Nooner.”

20170422_152032

Face: I primed my face with the Chanel primer and used my Chanel foundation that are in my Everyday Makeup post. For my cheeks I used the Hoola bronzer from Benefit cosmetics to contour my cheeks a bit, and I added a pop of color using the Mariah Carey blush collection for MAC in the shade “You Got Me Feeling.”

20170422_152109.jpg

20170422_152056

Some pictures from my cousin’s party. Happy Birthday, Jaime! Love you!! I had a wonderful time.

20170422_202758IMG-20170422-WA000820170422_225830.jpg

My sis and I – her victory rolls took the cake!

The beautiful cupcakes (the sprinkles were edible)!

IMG_20170423_212032_49520170422_235212

Left: Caught being anti-social at the party (thanks for the pic sis!).